


Kiss Buddy

by yamatsue



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Comfort, Confessions, Dating, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Idiots in Love, Jealousy, Kissing, LGBTQ Themes, Love, Making Out, Multi, Mutual Pining, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pre-Relationship, Romance, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-13
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:14:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25874932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yamatsue/pseuds/yamatsue
Summary: _____________hinata shouyou wants to feel the thrill of kissing. "it seems cool," he says. so when kageyama tobio (apprehensively) accepts hinata's offer to become his kiss buddy, hinata finally experiences that thrill, and kageyama's world is turned upside down.follow these two young and dumb teenagers as they traverse the world of high school and encounter problems such as lgbtq+ hardships and whether or not the milk's been restocked at the school's vending machine._____________
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Kudos: 29





	1. prologue

**Author's Note:**

> this happens to be my first work on this site, so criticism (as long as it's constructive or i might cry), is gladly appreciated!

Light streams in from his window, making his whole room become brighter during the early hours of the day. His eyes strained in response to the brightness, causing his head to throb, but he really only felt awake when he came into contact with sunlight. This hour is considered to be the most annoying for Kageyama Tobio, but in contradiction, he also knew it was the most refreshing. “Morning already?” he mumbles to himself, briefly recollecting his memory of that night, remembering how he stayed up till 3:00 A.M, his useless thoughts keeping him awake.

Rubbing his eyes, he sits up in bed, his hair a black, disheveled mess, trying to think up an agenda for that day. Of course, he’d have to go to school, then practice, but should he do anything after? Usually, he didn’t do much of anything after school. Weekdays usually held the same schedule, and were mostly predictable. First, he’d get up from bed and do the regular chore of cleaning himself up, then head to school. School would be just the same, then it would end, which would mark the start of practice, Kageyama’s favorite part of the day. Lastly, practice would end, then he’d head home, maybe read manga or something, then sleep soundly, expecting the same thing to happen the next day. Yes, that was how the day was going to go. 

Kageyama, still feeling tired since he stayed up later than he usually did, got up and lazily walked over to the bathroom. He did his usual routine of brushing his teeth, then proceeding to take a quick shower. He did this all feeling half-awake. Usually, the sunlight was enough to make him feel awake, but he guessed the low amount of sleep he had affected him far too much. He debated whether or not it was worth it to sleep during class, risking getting caught and scolded. Eventually, he came to the conclusion that he should just try to stay awake, and if he falls asleep, so be it. It was his body anyway, it’ll drift off to sleep if it needed to. Contemplating on the subject of sleep, Kageyama dries himself off while applying moisturizer (he would prefer to maintain his soft skin). With the completion of cleaning up, Kageyama puts on his uniform, and packs all he needs in his satchel. He doesn’t even think about eating breakfast as he heads out, yawning.

Thankfully, the sun decided to shine brightly that day, which was sufficient enough for his walk to school. Although his eyelids continued to yearn to close, Kageyama forced himself to stay awake, the sun only making the job easier. He walked slower than normal, due to his tiredness, but at least he was able to take in the scenery. Everything seemed more beautiful when it was shrouded in early morning light. Yawning, Kageyama drew closer to Karasuno High School, stepping on fallen leaves along the way and taking in the last bit of morning light he could get before entering the building. 

As Kageyama walked, lazily of course, through the halls of Karasuno High School, he ran into Tsukishima. Take a shy, reserved kid, put salt on it, and you’ll get the evil entity that is Tsukishima Kei. It seemed that Kageyama’s lack of rest was evident enough for Tsukishima to notice, because he started with, “Get enough sleep, Your Highness?”. Yamaguchi giggled softly beside him. Kageyama wondered how Yamaguchi was able to put up with Tsukishima’s cruelty, but he assumed it was due to the fact that Yamaguchi most likely knew a side of Tsukishima that Kageyama had yet to see. They were childhood friends after all, and there’s always a significance tied to childhood friendships. “I can’t put up with you right now, it’s energy-draining,” Kageyama replied calmly, attempting to shoot daggers with his eyes in Tsukishima’s direction, soon realizing it was all futile since he was so tired. Tsukishima smirked before walking away, Yamaguchi following closely behind.

Kageyama didn’t want to hear from anyone, especially not Tsukishima, who always made it a task to use the offensive nickname Kageyama was given during his junior high days. He had long chosen to abdicate his position as a “dictator”, and he chose to believe that he was a better person now. Well, maybe not _the best_ , but better when compared to his past. He didn’t like thinking of the past, he was reckless, and didn’t know right from wrong. He only wished there was someone there for him during those times, someone that understood him. Nevertheless, he was able to graduate successfully, but was he ever really happy at any point during his junior high experience? Did it even matter, does it matter now? 

Hands in his pockets, still very much tired, Kageyama entered Class 1-3. Thoughts were still swirling in his head, but he forced himself to drown them out because he found it draining to think on topics such as his past. Instead, he seated himself in his usual seat near the back of the classroom for obscurity, but also where enough sunlight would hit. He dropped his head down to the desk and waited for class to start. He hoped he could rest for a few minutes during lunch break, but thought otherwise when he remembered he’s a pretty deep sleeper. He could plan a nap, anticipating it to be 5 minutes long, then wake up 2 hours later. Besides, he enjoyed the opportunity of getting a milk carton at the school vending machine. And there was also Hinata, who insisted that Kageyama toss to him depending on whether the latter was eating or not. Kageyama didn’t have time to fix himself something that morning, so it seemed he’d have to toss. It wasn’t a bother or anything, rather, he enjoyed it, and Hinata energized him in a way.

Hinata Shouyou. The one person that believed he could absolve Kageyama of his regrets. It was strange, really. However, Kageyama never thought anything of it. Truthfully, he was grateful that someone would put so much effort into him, so it was only right to put effort into Hinata’s growth as a volleyball player. “Emotional growth..” Kageyama muttered to himself. Emotions are an unclear subject for Kageyama, but he wishes to not deal with anything like emotions until they truly become a problem for him. He thought of the idea of growing emotionally as the classroom started filling with more students. 

Sooner than he had expected, the bell began to ring, signaling the beginning of class. Still, Kageyama felt unmotivated to move from his position with his head rested on the desk. However, he also kept his manners in check, and made sure to bow down with the rest of the students as the teacher made her entrance, she quickly returned the bow and started taking attendance. Sitting back down, Kageyama began to realize his sudden urge to use the restroom. Usually, he made sure to relieve himself at home before going to school, but he had been so tired in the morning, he wasn’t even able to think straight. 

“Kageyama Tobio,” the teacher calls. Kageyama rarely ever excused himself from class, he wanted to maintain that streak, but it was homeroom, and it didn’t really matter if he missed any announcements. What he _was_ afraid of was getting scolded for not being smart enough to go earlier, though he thought it would be better to just face a quick scold instead of urinating himself. “Present.. May I go to the restroom?” Kageyama responds quietly, but loud enough for the teacher to hear. “Mhm,” the teacher nods her assent as she marks Kageyama as present. Kageyama flinches in surprise, his eyes widening. Although he sees her looking slightly exasperated, she didn’t look too mad. He reluctantly gets up and makes his way over to the door of the classroom. Opening it, he breathes a sigh of relief as he walks out into the hall. 

Kageyama never paid much attention to the way he overthought things. It was slightly annoying, having to always feel discouraged when it came down to making decisions. He’d always think the worst-case scenario would happen, and thus, he’d choose to forgo doing something if it meant that worst-case scenario would happen. It was because of this reason that he never did anything outside of his comfort zone. Of course, volleyball was the only exception to that mindset. Would that change? If he were to be honest, he wanted it to. When he thinks of being carefree, he usually thinks of Hinata who was pretty impulsive when it comes down to making decisions, both on and off the court. This might’ve been why Kageyama looked up to Hinata, and he hated to admit it, but he definitely also needs him. It’s when two people grow this sort of partnership that it becomes clear that the two parties are starting to rely on each other. Kageyama saw this already, he wondered if Hinata felt that he needed him too.

After thinking heavily on completely inappropriate topics, he finally came upon the restroom door. He’d been here once or twice before, but his body was pretty good at holding everything in, and there’s also his morning routine of going to the restroom before classes started. “God, it’s just a bathroom, why am I making a big deal out of this,” he mutters quietly. He opens the door with a creak, and enters. His shoes make a squeaking sound against the floor, nearly replicating that of shoes squeaking against gym flooring. He goes to the last urinal, furthest from the entrance. That way, he thought, anyone entering wouldn’t notice he was in the restroom right away. The chances of running into Tsukishima in the restroom is low, but never impossible. 

As he relieved himself, he heard the sound of the door creaking to his left, someone had opened it. Kageyama felt quite uncomfortable doing his business with others in the room, it was possibly his weirdest insecurity. He decided to not look over, and instead breathed a sigh of frustration. _Why did I have to go to the res-_ “Going to pee!” Kageyama hears a sing-songy voice that can only belong to one person. A childish brat that feels the need to sing as he’s about to piss. _Ugh, not right now._ Kageyama looks over, ever so slightly, to his left, taking a glance at the short figure with brightly-colored hair. _Curse you and your body’s desire to take a piss every ten minutes._ When Hinata goes up to a urinal, Kageyama sees this as his chance to wash his hands quickly, then escape before Hinata starts up a conversation.

Hastily zipping up his fly, Kageyama turned toward the sinks. _Maybe I should wait for Hinata to leave first, but then he might notice me and strike up a conversation._ Kageyama had no idea why he wished to avoid Hinata, but he certainly wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone. He hadn’t gotten any less tired than he was just a few minutes earlier. While Hinata was one of the few people who could actually wake him up, that didn’t change the fact that Hinata could still be… annoying as fuck. Kageyama washed his hands for a good twenty seconds, he guessed Hinata wasn’t interested in another person’s business because he didn’t take one glance behind him. Kageyama stared at his reflection in the mirror, then diverted his gaze to the back of Hinata’s head. “Human tangerine..” he said to himself, albeit a little too loud for something he’d say to himself, loud enough for Hinata to hear. 

Hinata must’ve caught on to something because he turned his head around quickly, smiling when he saw Kageyama. Seeing Hinata’s face reflecting off the mirror, Kageyama turns around as well. “Hey,” Kageyama says. Flushing the urinal, Hinata responds with, “You look kinda pale.” The orange-haired boy approaches the sinks, taking a lot of soap from the dispenser, afterwards attempting bubble-making with the soap and water. Kageyama scoffs in disgust as he sees Hinata waste soap and water by playing around with it, then softly laughs as Hinata struggles to make bigger bubbles. “Yeah, I didn’t get enough sleep,” Kageyama replied. Finally deciding to rinse his hands off, Hinata makes a noise as the soap runs off his hands. Sometimes, it was Hinata’s sounds that were the most expressive, so of course, Kageyama had become familiar with most of them. This, as expected, was a sound of confusion. “Huh? But your sleep schedule is usually well put together!” he exclaims. Kageyama scowled, then replied, “Stop acting like you know how I sleep, dumbass.” He could’ve sworn he saw Hinata smirk before turning around to grab a paper towel.

While drying his hands off, Hinata turns to face Kageyama, “How do you feel about life?” Kageyama stares into Hinata’s eyes, bewildered. It was out of Hinata’s character to talk about something like life. Volleyball was usually the topic of their conversations, but Hinata chose to speak of life. In reality, however, did Kageyama truly know Hinata’s personality? Or is this another side of Hinata he had chosen to show Kageyama? Regardless, Kageyama felt it was only right to answer the question. “Life? Well, I don’t really think about how mine is going. I mean, I hope it’ll revolve around-” Kageyama starts, but soon gets interrupted by Hinata. “No! I mean like, don’t you think it’s boring sometimes! Well, um… I mean not boring! But like, there’s an emptiness, you know? I’ve always had volleyball to fill that sense of emptiness, but no matter what I do now, it just keeps coming back.”

Kageyama watches in awe as Hinata jumps around, a fire in his eyes as he gives his take on life. He hadn’t known this was how he felt about it, he’d always thought Hinata was one of those carefree, happy-go-lucky guys that went with the flow. But he guessed he didn’t actually know Hinata that well. “Well, um-” Kageyama didn’t know how to respond, he was at a loss for words. “Maybe I just need an extra dose of thrill! Yeah, maybe that’s it!” Hinata declares. They both throw their paper towels away, and Kageyama waves a goodbye toward Hinata. “You should do whatever you want as long as it means you’ll get better on the court,” Kageyama says dismissively. 

Before Kageyama could reach for the door, he feels a hand wrap around his left arm. He turns around quickly to find Hinata with his head down, and his hand wrapped around Kageyama’s arm. “Kageyama, could you be accommodating just this once?” Hinata asks in a rushed whisper. “Hah? What do you mean? Get your hand off me!” Kageyama shouts, trying to shake Hinata’s hand off his arm. Kageyama wasn’t very adept at reading Hinata off the court. In addition, Hinata never seemed so determined to have Kageyama listen to him. It was an unfamiliar, and all the more confusing, situation from Kageyama’s viewpoint. “You said I should do whatever I want as long as I get better at volleyball, right?” Hinata asks, picking his head up to receive a response from Kageyama. Kageyama was still very confused, but nodded slowly anyway. He could see Hinata breathing heavily, maybe deciding whether or not it was worth it to continue. Regardless, Kageyama couldn’t afford to stick around, he was exhausted, and needed to get to class right away. But still, it seemed that Hinata had chosen it was worth it, and Kageyama couldn’t help but feel intrigued as Hinata said the following.

“Then let’s kiss.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi i forgot to note this but i only realized how uninformed i was about how volleyball club works till i wrote this chapter. i forgot to write in morning practice! >:( it's fine i'll make sure to write it in later <3 ty for reading


	2. being uselessly sad doesn’t suit you

Although lunch break wasn’t the best time to have one (due to the loud chatter of his classmates), Kageyama felt it was necessary to take a quick break. His head on his desk, Kageyama thought about what Hinata meant earlier. Describing it as a strange request was an understatement, it was completely out of Hinata’s character for him to ask for something like that. “Throw me more tosses from now on,” would’ve made more sense, but kissing? What did Kageyama have to do with him wanting to kiss somebody? _Why does he want to kiss me?_ Kageyama didn’t know how to do that, never even thought of it, he had no time to think of something as ridiculous as kissing. But more confusing than that, was the way his heart beat so loudly that his ears were only filled with the sound of it pounding. _Why am I suddenly becoming warmer?_ Kageyama pressed his hands to his cheeks in an attempt to shake off the feeling of warmth. Was he sick? No, he rarely ever got sick, but of course, it’s still a possibility. “I should drink some milk,” he mumbled.

Lunch break is one of Kageyama’s favorite class periods, not only because he can escape the stuffiness of the classroom, but also because he can get his daily fix of milk. The school’s milk is satisfactory at best, nevertheless still refreshing after a long day of work, and it’s the perfect destresser for Kageyama. And more than anything, Kageyama felt stressed. It was as if his stress replaced his exhaustion, but he would give anything to trade his stress to get his exhaustion back. He’d rather sleep during classes than get stressed over Hinata’s nonsensical statement. 

As he approaches the vending machine, the smell of autumn air surrounding him, Kageyama begins to regret being so abrasive toward Hinata, and people in general. Maybe he could’ve gotten an explanation from Hinata if he hadn’t been so scared as to run away. While Kageyama preferred to forget what took place in the restroom, he still desired an explanation from Hinata. Maybe if Kageyama wasn’t so abrasive in the first place, everything could’ve worked out. Hinata, who had seen Kageyama as nothing more than an adversary in the past, and is now forced to see him as an ally. Hinata, whose passion lies in volleyball. Hinata, who couldn’t give two shits about Kageyama’s personal life. There were so many factors that made it seem impossible for Hinata to want Kageyama. And yet, Kageyama was the person Hinata desired. 

It was completely atypical, but was it so hard to believe? Was it hard for Kageyama to believe that someone could want him? Kageyama pressed the milk button, and quickly received the carton. He pierced the carton with his straw, and immediately brought the straw to his lips, sighing in relief as the liquid entered his mouth. He decided to walk around campus before his next class started, the building was far too stuffy and Kageyama wanted to take in more sunlight. It’s not like he would need it, Hinata woke him up enough, but sunlight is nice to feel, regardless.

Rounding a corner, Kageyama accidentally ran into someone. The collision caused them both to stumble backwards, and it was only then that Kageyama caught a glimpse of them. “Sugawara-san, I apologize,” Kageyama said, taking a moment to bow. Sugawara’s eyes widened as he replied, “Oh it’s fine, Kageyama. It’s my bad for not watching where I was going.” Kageyama shook his head quickly after hearing Sugawara’s statement. Sugawara’s politeness to underclassmen never fell short of being amazing to Kageayama. “You happen to see Hinata anywhere?” Sugawara began to ask. “He’s usually out here with a volleyball.” Kageyama was about to open his mouth to answer, but realized something. Sugawara knew Hinata’s personality, possibly more than Kageyama did. Not only that, Sugawara has much more experience than Kageyama when it comes to life issues. Kageyama came to the conclusion that Sugawara could give him advice when it came to Hinata. The only problem, however, he didn’t want Sugawara to know he was having trouble with Hinata, he believed that would only make the situation worse. He had to avoid the use of Hinata’s name.

“Sugawara-san,” Kageyama started. Sugawara, who had been looking at his surroundings to see if he could spot Hinata somewhere, snapped back to his senses and stared at Kageyama. “I was just wondering, have you ever been in a situation that you’re pretty unfamiliar with?” he paused, unsure if he should continue, but eventually let it out in a rush. “Like, all of a sudden, this person comes up to you and asks you something completely ridiculous, like something _so_ ridiculous, it just doesn’t make sense. And then you begin to question, _what just happened?_ And you can’t even ask them what they meant because then it’ll be awkward for the both of you, plus-” before Kageyama could continue, Sugawara interrupted. “Kageyama~ That makes complete sense, you don’t have to be so anxious about it. Let’s move somewhere more comfortable and I’ll share my thoughts with you, alright?” As always, Sugawara remained respectful, almost motherly. Kageyama couldn’t help but feel astonished as they walked to a nearby railing to lean against. 

“Kageyama, there’s no easier way to put this, you’re quite arid aren’t you?” Sugawara breathed out. “You don’t seem to have a care for anything, well I mean, volleyball seems to be the only exception.” Sugawara looked to the ground for a second before looking back up to Kageyama. “We all encounter experiences we’re unfamiliar with, it’s part of our growth as people. Your distress makes complete sense.” Kageyama nodded, taking mental notes as Sugawara shared his thoughts. “And I _know_ , Kageyama, you’re not entirely colorless. You want to atone for mistakes you’ve made in the past. You’re not a hopeless case when it comes to emotions. Not that I’m assuming this situation has something to do with your feelings,” Sugawara let out a light chuckle, and Kageyama nodded as the words came out of his mouth. “I know you might abhor the idea of letting emotions flow freely, and you might need help understanding what’s going on, but I want you to know that you’ve come to the wrong person.”

Kageyama stared at Sugawara, confusion infused into his expression. “Oh, I don’t mean it as an affront toward you desiring help. But unless this situation you’re having trouble with is regarding school work, I cannot help. A matter of the heart cannot be understood by someone outside of the problem.” Although the words did not make complete sense to Kageyama, he felt that what Sugawara was trying to say was true. “Kageyama, you’re not as unreadable as you think you are. The absolution that you desire from those you’ve hurt in the past is so easy to see, but you don’t have to feel so bound to it. You are you, you can improve.” As Sugawara said his final words, he waved to Kageyama with a smile before departing and making his way over to the main building.

An outsider might think that Sugawara’s words weren’t helpful at all. They didn’t offer any advice on how to understand the situation with Hinata. But even then, Kageyama felt that what Sugawara said was ample, and he would definitely take it to heart. At the very least, Sugawara had admonished Kageyama with his words. They were enough for him to finally feel at ease, and he was glad to be able to walk back to class calmly.

__________________

The rest of the day felt like a blur to Kageyama. Nothing had changed, the same droning from the teachers remained the same, the way he had difficulty with his work, especially during math, was the same. And even so, the day continued on and Kageyama never really felt present. He only wished for the school day to end, so he could get on to practice, hopefully shake off some nerves after tossing, then end the day as if nothing happened. Of course, he couldn’t count on his hopes alone. Hinata was someone who was good at reading people, so good in fact, he could easily read Kageyama as if they had known each other for a long time. Surely, Hinata would notice something amiss about Kageyama during practice that day. 

Kageyama still found it funny, not just the way Hinata had requested something strange, but the way he had approached Kageyama about it. Kageyama didn’t find the offer itself more unusual than Hinata’s person of choice. Obviously, Kageyama had always thought Hinata viewed him as an adverse, stuck-up, cold-blooded guy that only tossed for him because he _needed_ to. Was it possible that Hinata viewed him as more than that?

_Arbitrary._

Then, maybe not.

As Kageyama slung his satchel strap around his shoulder, he hastily made his way out of the classroom. He had no desire to stay inside the building a moment longer, evident in his hurried steps through the hallways. He stared at his faint reflection that could be seen if he stared at the windows just hard enough. Clad in his usual attire of practice clothes, Kageyama’s reflection of his rushed figure made himself aware of his rough appearance. Not only did he feel stressed, he also seemed to look stressed. His hair appeared messier than normal, and he looked much more frantic than normal. Does that usually happen, he thought to himself. Nevertheless, he couldn’t do anything about it. _Would I be stressed if I wasn’t averse to Hinata’s requ-_ He stopped himself short. It would be bad for his mental state if he kept thinking about Hinata. Think about him too much, and Kageyama might pass out. 

He speedwalks down stairways of the school, already emptying of students heading to cram school, club activities, or maybe some of them would go on dates, Kageyama was part of the second group, the back of his mind wondered if he would ever be part of the third. On some days, he’d go to practice with Hinata, today was different though. Kageyama could tell it probably wasn’t the best for them to be in proximity of each other. The more distance, the better. However, that ideal was unavoidable during practice. More often than not, the both of them would look forward to practicing together. It was as though they had a silent agreement when they nailed their first quick that they would practice closely together from then on. Kageyama wondered what life would be like if he had never met Hinata. For sure, he knew Hinata would have a hard time. He doesn’t mean to think of it rudely, it’s just a fact, Hinata has trouble with volleyball, _even_ with Kageyama. But how about himself? Would training be just as arduous for him as it would be for Hinata? After all, Kageyama learned, during the time spent with Hinata, that volleyball isn’t just about being able to play the best you can, but also being able to connect with your teammates the best you can, on an emotional level. Only then can you reach the apex of your ability. 

It’s cheesy, but true. And Kageyama smiles at that. 

By the time Kageyama is done thinking about volleyball practice and Hinata’s importance in his life, he’s already exiting the building and he inhales the afternoon air sharply. It feels nice to escape the stuffiness of the building, same as lunch period, but this is time it’s less temporary. He crosses over gravelly ground, intent on making it to the gym for practice. While approaching the gym, he breathes in the acrid smell of cigarette smoke, confirming practice was going on because he wouldn’t be able to imagine anyone else but Coach Ukai smoking. He rounds the corner, and just as expected, there stands their blond-haired, scary-looking, but friendly, coach. Kageyama bows, to which Coach Ukai nods in acknowledgement, cigarette still situated between his lips. He assumed everyone was doing something that didn’t require his assistance, since he was outside smoking, and not inside. 

“Want me to get that for you?” Ukai nods toward, the cigarette now between his index and middle finger, Kageyama’s satchel, still slung around his shoulder. Kageyama was in such a rush, he somehow forgot to drop his bag off in the club room. “It’s alright, I can do it my-” Kageyama starts, but Ukai stops him short, holding his left hand up as if Kageyama would take that as a sign to stop. “Nah, I’m going to be outside for another minute anyway, go start tossing for Hinata or sum’n, alright?” he assures Kageyama, before puffing his cigarette once more. Kageyama gives his bag to Ukai, who has his arm outstretched in front of him. “Thank you very much.” Ukai nods and responds, “It’s no problem,” before walking off to the club room. 

Kageyama rips his gaze away from him and enters the gym, his shoes squeak against the floor as he gives everyone a quick, “Hey.” Sugawara is the first to notice his entrance, and him being the concerned person he is, he responds with, “Hey Kageyama, you feeling alright?” Kageyama glances over to his right where Sugawara stood, confused as he always is when he’s with him. “Why wouldn’t I be?” Kageyama asks. Sugawara takes a few steps forward, and is only a foot away from Kageyama when he drops the volume of his voice and says, “I don’t know if it has something to do with the situation you mentioned earlier, but you look stressed right now. I can take your place if you don’t want to toss today.” Sugawara’s eyes are quite piercing. They aren’t usually like that, he usually has kind, soft eyes, but the state of his eyes at that moment told Kageyama that he was being serious. It might’ve been true that it looked as if Kageyama had just gotten an ailment. But his stress shouldn’t be something that could undermine his performance. 

“I’m sure I’ll be fine, you are kind for asking Sugawara-san,” Kageyama responds, a faint blush on his face. It was embarrassing when Sugawara cared for him the same way a mother would. He was far too altruistic, it felt unreal. Sugawara nods and pats Kageyama’s back as Tsukishima, who was adjacent to Sugawara, snickered softly. Once Sugawara walked away, Tsukishima approached Kageyama, “Hey King, why don’t you show us one of your freaky tosses. Bet your stress could make it happen,” he smirks. Yamaguchi’s trembling figure to the right of Tsukishima makes Kageyama’s eyes dart over to him, “Tsukki, let’s not-” He is cut short. “Shut up, Yamaguchi. Wasn’t even talking to you,” Tsukishima responds insensitively. Yamaguchi lets out a quiet ‘sorry’, as Kageyama’s visible stress is augmented by Tsukishima. 

Kageyama abstains arguing back, for Yamaguchi’s sake, and for his own. If he were to show animosity toward Tsukishima in his current state, he didn’t know if he’d be able to stay sane for the remainder of the day. He walks away with a grunt, slipping off his jacket and gets dressed properly for practice, a frantic Yamaguchi running up to him. 

“Ah, Kageyama. I apologize for Tsukki’s behavior, he had gone too far with that statement,” he bows slightly, and Kageyama could see his freckled cheeks turn a shade of red when he looks back up. “It’s fine, he’s bound to make some snarky comments. But even then, you shouldn’t have to apologize for it. That jerk needs to learn how to apologize for himself,” Kageyama replies, squinting his eyes at Tsukishima, who was facing away from them. “I wish he would do that, but he’s Tsukki so we can’t expect much from him. You are very tolerant Kageyama, I wonder how you do it,” Yamaguchi smiles before turning around and running toward his best friend. The idea that Tsukishima had been lucky enough to earn a good friend like Yamaguchi still left him shaken up, but as he always likes to think, he assumes that Tsukishima is nicer than he presents himself. 

Kageyama wonders if there’ll ever be a time when his partnership with Hinata will reduce to nothing but rude comments between the two of them. Despite the way they have adhered to each other, and probably won’t ever separate, it could still happen. Tsukishima and Yamaguchi also happen to be in the same situation, yet Tsukishima still treats Yamaguchi like shit. Of course, it doesn’t seem likely now, but with the way him and Hinata act around each other, one might predict it will turn sour soon. His stomach twists at the thought, the feeling the idea gives him can be described as ambiguous, he doesn’t know exactly how he feels about it. But one thing that stood out to him was the way he could feel his heart sink, and it pained him to even think about such a thing. 

____________________

“Alright everyone, scrimmage time!” Coach Ukai called out, clapping his hands for everyone’s attention. Kageyama, who had been practicing with Tanaka, quickly turned around as Ukai announced who was allotted to each side. As expected, Kageyama ended up on the side with Hinata, and his discomfort made itself visible on his face as he received his practice jersey. Quickly putting it on, he made his way over to the court to stand in position with Hinata standing right next to him, just to his right. Ever since the words came out of his mouth earlier that day in the restroom, Hinata had not spoken to Kageyama at all. While Kageyama had been fine with that, he wondered whether or not that would affect their performance as a duo on court. In truth, the time spent not knowing what Hinata meant earlier had caused a huge amount of worry to amass for Kageyama. It wasn’t worry for their personal relationship, although he did worry for that, it was also worry for how they would do when they carried out their quick attack. 

Kageyama glanced to his right, there Hinata was, facing the net confidently as if nothing took place between them. Hinata must’ve felt a gaze fall on him because he turned to his left, his eyes meeting with Kageyama’s. Kageyama couldn’t ignore the shade of red Hinata’s face had turned, but despite that, Hinata still appeared collected as he raised a thumbs up and laughed quietly. Kageyama was sure their faces shared the same color when he let out that laugh. 

One would dare say Kageyama felt ambivalent about him. 

The whistle sounded, causing them to cease eye contact and they began to focus on the game. On the opposing side, it was Tsukishima’s serve. It was as smooth-sailing as it always was, and it seemed as though Tsukishima’s calculations were nearly correct as it was received by Daichi, who happened to be just behind Kageyama. _Had that been just a bit closer to the net, that serve would’ve been perfect._ Kageyama quickly tossed it into the air, sending it toward Tanaka. It only struck him then that he had done that subconsciously. His mind rarely had a _safe, or sorry_ mindset, but at that moment, it had played that card. Kageyama had not sent it to Hinata as he usually did, and even though that was fine, he wondered _why_. Did he not believe he could send it to him correctly? Was he seriously doubting himself there? Kageyama glanced to Tanaka, who had tried to hit the ball into the other court, but was met with a block from Asahi. Once Tanaka’s shoes met the floor again, he looked to Kageyama, confused. On the other side of the net, Yamaguchi was amicably high-fiving Tsukishima, praising him for his serve, Tsukishima couldn’t return the high five with more apathy. 

Kageyama bowed down, apologizing to Tanaka, saying his toss should’ve been better, but was met with an apology from Tanaka instead. “No, no, that was my fault. I sincerely thought you would send it to Hinata. It was my bad for letting my guard down, it caused my hit to be bad,” he said, chuckling softly. Up until then, Kageyama hadn’t any idea that he had an initial choice of who he’d send the ball to. He hadn’t known that he usually set the ball to Hinata for security. He hadn’t known his trust for Hinata was that great. And even so, he ended up setting the ball to Tanaka. Why? 

Kageyama already knew what would come next. “Kageyama, toss to me will youuuu.” As he expected, the whiny voice of Hinata spoke. Kageyama tears his gaze away from Tanaka and he looks to Hinata. “Of course I will, dumbass. I just wanted to try securing a point early in the game!” 

__Liar._ _

Hinata’s face quickly turns into one of frustration as he says, “You saying I wouldn’t be able to hit that?” Kageyama scowled in response, “Of course you’d be able to, just trust my decisions.” He attempted to say it with a hint of asperity, but anyone could tell it was fake. “You’re so mean Bakageya-” Hinata tries arguing, but is cut off by Daichi. “Come on you guys, not now alright?” Daichi says warmly, looking toward them. Kageyama and Hinata both nod slowly as they return to their positions and focused state. 

Tsukishima was up to serve again, and Ennoshita received it this time. He had received it perfectly, sending it into the air right above Kageyama. It was a perfect receive, and Kageyama knew he could make the perfect set. He felt so present in the moment and he heard Hinata’s voice call out behind him, “Kageyama!” 

His mind, however. 

__“Then let’s kiss.”_ _

Went other places. 

It landed a few feet away from the sideline 

Everyone stared at him in bewilderment. His eyes met Hinata’s and he could tell that his short partner was, also, very, very confused. “Kageyama, did your fingers slip up?” he asks. Kageyama has no time to respond before Tsukishima speaks up. “Eh, the King decided to pull out one of his freaky tosses, huh?” Kageyama glowered at Tsukishima’s mischievous smirk. 

He ripped his gaze away from the blond and stared at his hands, he was usually astute with his setting, especially with Hinata. Had he messed up because of- “Oi, shut up, you tree!” Hinata shouts. Kageyama looked up from his hands, the ones that had set wrongfully to Hinata, and stared at him as he scolded Tsukishima for teasing Kageyama. “What? You mean to tell me what I’m saying is wrong?” Tsukishima laughed. Hinata was practically fuming, but he didn’t say more as he stared at Tsukishima angrily. 

“You alright Kageyama?” Coach Ukai’s voice is made known to Kageyama, and he whirls around to reply, “Yes.” Coach Ukai nods before blowing the whistle and Tsukishima is up to serve once again. At this rate, the opposing team could easily get 6 points with his serves if Kageyama kept the act up. Kageyama silently cursed his mind for wandering too far off, and hoped he’d be able to concentrate this time around. 

Tsukishima’s serve sailed smoothly through the air as it always does, but it ended up in Daichi’s hands. Kageyama could only imagine Tsukishima’s scowling face of frustration when Daichi received the ball. Kageyama was facing the defense-skilled captain, hoping to get a proper set this time for Hinata. 

__Hinata…_ _

The ball is suddenly above his head and it is as though his arms make the decision to put full force into the toss. 

The set was too high and too fast. 

Kageyama doesn’t even look at Hinata’s face as he hears the ball drop, most likely farther from the sideline this time, the stares are too much for Kageyama to bear. He could already see the confused faces of his teammates, and maybe a hint of disappointment was infused into their eyes as well. He drops his head down and realizes something. He had to face it. 

He was distracted. 

Distracted because he didn’t confront Hinata before practice. 

Distracted because the pounding in his chest will not go away. 

“I apologize!” he shouts, to his teammates, to himself, but most of it was directed to Hinata. “You don’t have to apologize, Kageyama,” Daichi calls out. “We all make mistakes, right?” 

Kageyama nods to show his acknowledgement for Daichi’s statement. He trembles in fear, he can’t continue on like this, he can’t continue setting recklessly like this. He thought he had improved. He _did_ improve, something just set himself back a few steps. All he needed to do was sort out the situation that was stressing him and he’ll be good. He refused to return back to his former state. 

“Kageyama, you don’t have to toss to me if you don’t want to,” Hinata’s voice breaks the silence. It sounds soft, calm, not frustrated, or angry, or whiny even. It was filled with care. Kageyama turns around to find Hinata staring at him with a glow in his eyes, “Why would I not want to toss to you?” Kageyama was sure everyone could easily see Hinata’s dejected expression as he answered Kageyama’s question. “You’re uncomfortable with me aren’t you, especially after what happened in the ba-” 

“Let’s not go there. I’m going to set to you, nothing affects my performance in volleyball.” 

Hinata’s face fills with a tint of red, and Kageyama’s is the same as he sighs in relief after being able to stop Hinata before he could finish his sentence. 

The stares on them only furthered Kageyama’s embarrassment, but Sugawara, who was on the opposing side, tears through the awkwardness. “Well, let’s not get too personal here now, alright? Practice ends soon anyway, let’s put as much effort as we can at the moment.” Everyone nods in agreement as ‘Mhm’’s can be heard among the group. Kageyama looks to Coach Ukai, who meets him with a stare. It felt like a stare that could only be shared among setters since it screamed, _once something goes wrong with your spiker, everything will go wrong for you too._

Kageyama’s tosses never hit Hinata’s hand for the remainder of practice. 

____________________

The last of the balls get picked up and the net is getting stowed away by Daichi when Ukai calls Kageyama over. “Kageyama, c’mere will ya?” He motions for Kageyama to step closer, and Kageyama does just that while asking, “What is it that you need me for?” Ukai takes a deep breath in, inhaling so sharply, anyone within five feet of them would be able to hear it. “You.. you… something happened between you and Hinata,” he begins. Kageyama felt his face grow warm when his coach let out that single statement. It was true, but when it came out of someone else’s mouth instead of his thoughts, it was scary to hear. Regardless of it being true, Kageyama doesn’t respond. 

“I’m… I’m not gonna ask what happened, because that’s none of my business, but if this causes a fracture in our team, you best believe I’m going to get involved. Karasuno isn’t Kageyama Tobio and Hinata Shouyou, it’s multiple people that can be affected by your problems.” Kageyama drops his head in shame. He definitely understood where Coach Ukai was coming from, and he never wanted to harm his teammates ever again. “So, if there’s anything that’s bothering you, you should probably tell Takeda-sensei, he’s definitely better to confide in between the both of us,” Coach Ukai suggests. Kageyama nods in response, then Ukai waves him off giving him a quick, “Goodbye, patch things up with Hinata soon, alright?” Kageyama nods again, lets out a quick, “Mhm,” before running out of the gym onto gravelly ground. 

The last light of day was already fading when the third years all waved goodbye to everyone else, as though they were parental figures. Kageyama watches Yamaguchi running to Tsukishima, the second years all walking home together, Kiyoko walking Yachi to the bus stop, and that leaves Hinata, who was walking toward the bike racks alone. On any other day, he would probably be running up to Kageyama, telling him that they’ll improve with volleyball soon. He would probably say something along the lines of, _Kageyama, being uselessly sad doesn’t suit you._

Kageyama quietly laughs at the thought. It was exactly what he needed at that moment. The one thing he was annoyed about most in the past, was the one thing he needed right then and there. 

He guessed he would be walking home alone that night. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh yeah italics actually dont appear automatically when i copy from google docs (i think), so places where emphasis was supposed to be, just dont have that anymore. sorry if that affected anything! i hope the way i write these two is fine~ 
> 
> with the most love,  
> @ yamatsue ♡
> 
> edit: the no italics thing kept bothering me. hope this was a better experience ^^


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